Baldur's Gate 3: How to romance Astarion Play4ever

How do you romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3? Baldur’s Gate 3 has plenty of steamy romantic options, but this courtship is particularly appealing as it involves a flirtation with the dark side. Astarion gives us a glimpse at what it means to care for someone so much that you’ll even let them bleed you dry for just a taste of something special.

In this guide we’ll show you how to romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3, going through all the ways in which you can gain (or lose) his approval, and the exact dialogue options you need to follow to romance Astarion successfully.


Note: if you’re unsure about how romance mechanics work in Baldur’s Gate 3, read everything you need to know in our Baldur’s Gate 3 romance guide!

Now that Baldur’s Gate 3 has left early access, vid bud Liam reckons it was worth the wait.Watch on YouTube

How to romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3

To romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3, you first need to gain his approval ahead of the refugee celebration which occurs after completing the Save the Refugees side-quest. We’ll explain this in more detail below, but first let’s explore how to gain Astarion’s approval.

You’ll encounter Astarion in the first chapter of Baldur’s Gate 3. You’ll eventually learn he has a “condition,” which we won’t completely spoil here. However, this condition means he respects you more if you’re willing to work with creatures traditionally considered monsters. He also appreciates showmanship and will be put off by boring behavior.

His thirst for power (among other things) manifests in his attraction to deception and lack of compassion. If you want to get on his good side, give him a taste of your darkest thoughts that flavor your essence. Hey, you want to show him you really care, right?

Although you’ll find yourself subject to your companion’s flirtatiousness early on, you’ll have to work a bit to convince him you’re on his side.

Gain Astarion’s approval by:

  • Supporting his whims
  • Showing support for him concerning his condition
  • Aligning with characters typically referred to as monsters, such as devils and goblins
  • Being ruthless
  • Displaying dramatics
  • Presenting displays of power
  • Appreciating fine things
  • Demonstrating cruelty

You will lose Astarion’s approval by:

  • Showing altruism
  • Compromising
  • Showing weakness
  • Exercising restraint
  • Exhibiting judgment regarding his condition

Astarion generally thinks altruism is for the weak, though he’s much more appreciative of those willing to work with monsters. Ultimately, you’ll gain high approval from him if you show understanding and cooperation in helping him with his condition.

If you want to get involved in this tastefully tortured romance, any decisions you make that might impact him must put him front and center. For example, you can support him in his desire to use the mind flayer tadpole to his advantage. You’ll also please him by assisting the goblins in the goblin camp. Give him the items he desires and invite him to feed on enemies. If it feels sinister or outrageous, it’s probably going to be a hit with Astarion.


Astarion romance: dialogue choices

As you begin to romance Astarion, you can check up his approval rating of you on the character sheet. The goal is to gain high approval, and it’s best to gain Astarion’s approval before the Rescue Druid Halsin quest. In a normal playthrough, it may take you about 20 hours of gameplay to reach this point. If his approval rating of you is high enough by the time you celebrate at the camp after the Save the Refugees side-quest, you’ll be able to continue your flirtationship with him at that time.

To successfully romance Astarion at the camp, you’ll need to select the following dialogue prompts:

  • Really? Saving lives is awful?
  • True, the goblins would have thrown a wilder party.
  • And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun’?
  • All right, let’s do it. I’ll see you later.

If you’ve won Astarion’s approval and choose these prompts, you’ll be able to invite him to your bedroll when you head there for the evening.

You’ll then be granted a romance scene featuring a hot night of passion like you’ve been dreaming of since you watched the Twilight series as a tween.

That’s everything you need to know about romancing Asterion. And, if he proves to be too much for your deepest, darkest self, you can also check out our guides to romancing other Baldur’s Gate 3 characters, including Gale, Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Wyll.


Disclosure: Former RPS deputy editor Adam Smith (RPS in peace) now works at Larian and is the lead writer for Baldur’s Gate 3. Former contributor Emily Gera also works on it.

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